Don't Settle!

Before reading this post, I encourage you to grab a notebook and your favorite writing utensil and use this post for your own personal study/benefit. I'm going to ask a lot of questions, so write down on your own piece of paper what you think the answers to these questions are... I pray that this post blesses you and gives you insight to your future and the relationships it may (or may not) hold! Blessings! ~ S*

Still looking for your future spouse? Beginning to wonder if they even exist? Do you have high standards? Are there specific Biblical characteristics you are looking for? If not, should there be?

I have always had my standards when it comes to finding a future husband. I am not going to settle for anything other than God's best for me. In the past I have struggled with "Letting Go and letting God." But recently I have moved forward in my trust in God.

I have witnessed in the past few years a few relationships. Some of the people settled, and some of them did not! I believe God has a specific person out there for me to marry. This is not to say I couldn't marry someone else, but I think God has that perfect plan. It is my job to trust in Him to bring that plan into fruition, and not get impatient and marry the first guy that comes along. Below are some examples for us to examine:

Example A: Bob has just graduated High School. He is a Christian guy, who has been raised in a Christian home. He finally found a girl he thinks could be the one. The only catch, she is a brand new (baby) Christian. Before I continue, let me ask a couple questions... What should Bob do? Should he date this girl? If so, what boundaries should he set up before moving on with the relationship? What scriptures come to mind?... Okay, well, Bob decides to date this girl. While doing so he proceeds to kiss her and cuddle with her a bit. After a few months have passed, the relationship between Bob and his new girlfriend begins to have some strain... What do you think would cause strain in their relationship? How do you think it could be handled? How do you think it could have been prevented? Well, this relationship ended in a break up... It left Bob a bit heartbroken. Why? You may ask... He really thought that this relationship could end in marriage. He really gave some of his heart away to this young woman. Now he has to live with the decisions he made while in this relationship. He will not be able to take back the kisses and physical actions he made towards this young lady. His future wife can no longer be the first to receive these actions. Does Bob regret them? Yes... Why did he do it? Bob wanted to be an example to this young woman... He wanted to help her relationship with the Lord grow and mature. What could he have done differently that may have produced a better outcome? Do you think there is anything Bob should do now that the relationship is over? If so, what? What does the Bible say about this kind of relationship? What can you learn from this example?

Example B: Steve glances back across the room to catch another look from Lindsey... "She is so beautiful..." He thinks as he watches her explain a function on the store's new exercise machine. She is constantly happy, and always makes me laugh... I wonder what she is doing on Saturday night?" Lindsey too has been noticing Steve. They have been holding longer conversations in the break room, and she is beginning to wonder if their relationship could be something more... The only catch... She is a born again Christian, and he doesn't' have a relationship with the Lord at all. What should Lindsey do? What should Steve do? How should these early feelings be handled? As time progresses, Lindsey decides to invite Steve to her church. He begins attending, and after a few months, he gives his heart to the Lord! Now what should Lindsey do? What should Steve do? Should they move on into a "beyond friendship" kind of relationship? Why or why not? Steve and Lindsey end up dating... The people around Lindsey begin to notice that she no longer has time for her church family. She is acting a little weird... Not herself... Steve tells Lindsey that he isn't really comfortable mingling with everyone after the service. So instead of staying after the service to fellowship, they get up together and head out almost before anyone has the chance to say hello... What is going on in this relationship? What should Steve do? What should Lindsey do? A few months later Steve and Lindsey announce that they are engaged! How exciting! After their announcement they are hardly ever seen at Lindsey's church... There are rumors floating around that they began attending another church a little closer to Steve's home. A few months later, wedding invitations are sent out, and the wedding takes place at a church that neither the bride nor groom attend. What are your thoughts on this relationship? Will this marriage last? If not why? If so why or how? Less than a year after the wedding, Lindsey's original church family begins to see her attend the services without her groom... More time passes and the news is finally announced that Lindsey and Steve are getting a divorce... What could have prevented this? What does the Bible say concerning this relationship? What can you learn from this example?

Example C: Lori is a wonderful woman of God. She is now in her thirties, and has seen her younger brother get married to a beautiful woman that their family has know for many years. She is also witnessing her younger sister in a wonderful relationship with a young man of God. "When is it going to be my turn, Lord?" She has asked a thousand times. She has wanted to get married since she was a little girl. Why the long wait? But she doesn't let this discourage her, instead she is excited and happy for her younger siblings! And she begins to use her single time to bring honor and glory to God. To follow His leading and direction for her life. Before she knows it a handsome man steps through the doorway of church one Sunday morning. She can't help but notice him. Yes, he is handsome, but even more importantly he has this look about him... What kind of look? How do you think Lori should proceed? What questions should be asked? After striking up their first conversation Lori can tell that she has found a man following after the Lord. Before long their relationship progresses to a courtship. They get to know each others families. They never put themselves in tempting situations, and possibly best of all, neither of them have given away their first kiss! Together they establish boundaries and make decisions for their relationship based on what they think God would have them do. What do you think about this relationship? How should it be handled? What should Lori do? What should the man do? What is their next step? After a while Lori comes home with a ring on her finger. She is absolutely glowing with excitement! Was is worth the wait? She will tell you it was, with out a doubt. So, does this story have a happy ending? Yes! After a beautiful first kiss wedding and honeymoon, this couple is enjoying a wonderful life together. A life in which they put God first, and follow His leading and direction for their life! Could this have turned out any better? Will they have struggles along the way? What does the Bible say concerning this relationship? What can you learn from this example?

Want more examples? If so let me know... I hope that you took the time to really go over each of these situations. Which situation do you want for your life? What outcome do you want to have? Have you lived in any of these people's shoes? What can you learn from your mistakes? Are you willing to change some of your standards? What kind of changes do you think need to be made for yourself? Why?

Please let me know if this post blessed you in any way. I would love to hear from you! Do you have a topic you would like me to post about? I would love to hear your thoughts! If you have any questions pertaining to this post (or any other), please send me an e-mail and I would be happy to answer. girlbiblestudy@hotmail.com
Blessings to you as you grow in your relationship with the Lord!
~ S*